Graduation Weekend!

We had an amazing weekend celebrating Josh's graduation with friends and family. I am so proud of him! Once he wraps up his summer internship in August, he is free to explore job options in Chicago or abroad. Wooohooo! We are thankful for God's provision during these first two years of marriage. Now, we both have diplomas in hand and can fully embrace post-grad life. It feels pretty good!

On waking up

After I graduated from college in December, I turned off my brain.  Reading did not appeal to me at all.  My job is a tremendous blessing, but it feels pretty mindless after awhile.  I have watched a lot of TV these past few months, barely filtering it, always choosing Hulu or Netflix over anything productive.  If it made me laugh, I watched it and I laughed.

The world becomes a strange, mad, painful place, and life in it a disappointing and unpleasant business, for those who do not know about God.  Disregard the study of God, and you sentence yourself to stumble and blunder through life, blindfold, as it were, with no sense of direction and understanding of what surrounds you.  This way you can waste your life, and lose your soul.

Dr. J.I. Packer
Knowing God

I feel that my mind has been reopened, my intellect stimulated, my soul suddenly made aware of its ravishing hunger for the knowledge of God.  It seems that I am finally exiting a season of recovery from undergraduate work, a season of complacency and dullness.  I want to learn again.  I want to grow. I don't want to become a ghost.

One can see them everywhere: women who are ghosts, young and old, who while living shrilly are still examples of voicelessness, of the divided soul, of longing gone wrong.

I can't say it with enough emphasis: you can't afford to be casual about any part of your life.  The misplacement of longing, the mistaking of the temporal for eternal will always turn you into a ghost.

Dr. Rosalie de Rosset
Unseduced and Unshaken: The Place of Dignity in a Young Woman's Choices

Do you have any insights on managing time well?

Quote of the day

"The culture has encouraged so much self-culture and indulgence that sometimes I wonder if we haven't told ourselves we can't be heroines in the old-time tradition. Being a heroine means being countercultural where culture or subculture is wrongheaded. Everywhere we look, people are telling stories of recovery from sin; and, of course, God's grace is marvelous beyond words. However, it is possible to choose well, to spend less time recovering and more time deepening our walk with God."

Unseduced and Unshaken: The Place of Dignity in a Young Woman's Choices
Dr. Rosalie de Rosset

Café Ba-Ba-Reba

After the commencement ceremony, my mom, Josh and I headed to Café Ba-Ba-Reba for a celebratory lunch.  We had never tried tapas before... we fell in love very quickly.

A few more...

(No, that isn't our house.  I wish!  Lincoln Park is gorgeous.)

Look at that guy!  I'm so lucky.  ;)

Commencement!

 I graduated in December.  I got my diploma in the mail about a month later.  Since Moody does not offer a commencement ceremony to December graduates, I decided to walk in May.  My mom even flew into town for the occasion.

 I'm so glad I did.  It felt great.  :)

The Fish and the Bird

Do you like First Aid Kit?  You will love this singing and songwriting duo.  The best part?  They're sisters, too!

Geja's in December

A week ago, on December 12, I finished my last semester of college.  (Yeaaaaaah!!!!)  Yesterday, December 18, my husband and I celebrated our six-month wedding anniversary.  On Sunday, December 25, we will celebrate Christmas with our friends and family.

I like December.

After I finished my final exam on Monday, I changed into my little black dress for a romantic dinner with my husband.  Walking out of the classroom center after turning my last college assignment felt good.  And, since I was wearing heels, it felt even better.

Geja's is a fondue restaurant in downtown Chicago, and it was founded in 1965!  It was recommended to us by dear friends, and we finally had a wonderful opportunity to get out and celebrate.

(During dessert, Josh handed me this sweet note from his pocket.)

It has been a wonderful month, and I am looking forward to another wonderful year... with no papers to write!

Today

1. Internship exit interview
2. Submit 12-page internship review paper
3. Study, study, study in the library
4. Quick dinner in cafeteria
5. Final exam
6. Happy dance in honor of the end of collegeness
7. Romantic fondue date with husband

But first, I'd better do something with my hair.

Almost there!

My last college class ever is this afternoon.  At 1:50 p.m., I will walk out the classroom, and that will be it.  Just one exam on Monday, and it's all over.  Where did the past three years go?  Is my college career really coming to an end?  It is bittersweet, but I am excited about the future... and I am so very ready to be done!

 
A sneak peak of our recent trip to New York City!

I have missed updating Sojourn of Faith, I can't wait to spend more time with you all soon!

BRB!

In less than 50 days, I will have completed my undergraduate degree!  I am having trouble keeping up with my 18 credits of coursework, so I have decided to take a little break from Sojourn of Faith (emphasis on "little").  Don't worry, I'll be back soon!  Love you all!

Hmmm...

I wish I had more time to blog.  I would experiment with my layout, upload breathtaking photography, find inspiring quotes, and maybe even host giveaways (how fancy!).

Alas, I don't.

It's not like I have no free time.  I suppose that I could make it happen, if I wanted to.  But I'm not very good at prioritizing, especially since I've gotten married.  When my wonderful husband is home, my backpack remains zipped shut, and my homework is left untouched.  And I don't mind.  I get to it, eventually.  Same with blogging.

Do you guys ever feel behind in the fast-paced world of blogging?

Friday Morning

The sun pouring into our little apartment.
The kiss on my sleepy head.

The French-pressed coffee.

The textbooks and unsorted mail cluttering the dining room table.

The dirty dishes in the sink from last night's pasta dinner.
The feeling that I am behind on schoolwork, but not behind on life.

The Lord is ruining my perfectionism, day by day.  I can't do it all, and I can't be perceived well by everyone.  Surrendering my neurosis is not easy, but it brings the adrenaline of new life.  There is grace, and there is a God who loves me with frightening extravagance.

Have a wonderful day, ladies.  I think I'd better wash the dishes now.

Children of Abraham

Last week, my theology professor assigned us to read a sermon called, "The Activity of Faith: Or, Abraham's Imitators," written by Thomas Hooker in 1633.  So, I downloaded the PDF, printed out ten page sermon, and started reading it. The language was archaic, and his argument, though well-reasoned and nuanced, seemed unending.

I got bored and never read past the first page.

In class yesterday, my professor walked us through the sermon, and I was left in awe.

In Puritan communities, church attendance was required, and the most commonly read books were the Bible and Pilgrim's Progress. Truly faithful believers in Jesus Christ were unsure of their salvation, and those who did not believe were assured by their outward practice of righteousness.

In this sermon, Thomas Hooker essentially says, "Some of you people show up at church and think you're right with God, but you're not."  He presents Abraham as a non-negotiable model of what saving faith is, and he outlines six footsteps of Abraham's faith.  He informs the congregation that if they do not meet any of these footsteps, they are not truly saved.  Wow.

I listed them below, pasted from the original sermon.

1. "The first step which Abraham took in the ways of grace and happiness, you shall observe (Gen. 12:1) to be a yielding to the call of God."

2. "The next step that Abraham, and so every faithful soul, sets forward is this: that whenever faith cometh powerfully into the heart, the soul is not content barely to yield to the command of God, but it breatheth after his mercy, longeth for his grace, prizeth Christ and salvation above all things in the world, is satisfied and contented with nothing but the Lord Christ; and although it partake of many things below, and enjoy abundance of outward comforts, yet it is not quieted till it rest and pitch itself upon the Lord, and find and feel that evidence and assurance of his love, which he hath promised unto, and will bestow on those who love him."

3. "The third step of Abraham's faith was this: he casteth himself and flingeth his soul (as I may say) upon the all-sufficient power and mercy of God for the attainment of what he desireth; he rolleth and tumbleth himself, as it were, upon the all-sufficiency of God."

4. "I say, he must not only depend on God, but he must wait upon the holy one of Israel."

5. "This is the next step that Abraham went; and this you shall find when God put him upon the trial (Gen. 22). ...Methinks I see the saints there reaching after Christ with the arms of faith, and how when anything lay in their way, they were content to lose all, to part with all, to have Christ."

6. "The last step of all is this: when the soul is thus resolved not to dodge with God, but to part with anything for him, then in the last place there followeth a readiness of heart to address a man's self to the performance of whatsoever duty God requireth at his hands."

Summary: "Now gather up a little what I have delivered.  He that is resolved to stoop to the call of God; to prize the promises, and breathe after them; to rest upon the Lord, and to wait his time for bestowing mercy upon him; to break through all impediments and difficulties, and to count nothing too dear for God; to be content to perform ready and cheerful obedience; he that walketh thus, and treadeth in these steps, peace be upon him.  Heaven is hard by; he is as sure of salvation as the angels are.  It is as certain as the Lord liveth, that he shall be saved with faithful Abraham, for he walketh in the steps of Abraham, and therefore he is sure to be where he is."

Are you challenged?  I certainly am.  Thomas Hooker encouraged his hearers to examine themselves and exercise discernment.  He encouraged the faithful to remain steadfast, and he comforted the saints with the hope of reward in heaven.  My professor said, "Walking in the way of Abraham is very, very, very, very hard, but God is watching, and he is crying with you, and he is joyfully conspiring ways to reward you.  He is with you, and he is saying, 'Finish.  Finish.  Finish.  Finish.  Finish.'"

I will leave you with Hebrews 12:1-2, "Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God."

Finish well, friends.

Renewal

(My final assignment for photography class was a portfolio, and I chose this theme, "Doorways of Chi-Town."  What a pretty doorknob I found!)

My last post was a bit dreary.  I appreciate your thoughtful, encouraging responses!  It was helpful and humbling to carefully examine my motives for blogging, to prayerfully search my heart for idleness and pride.  This culture is one competing self-narrative, and my reoccurring fear is that I, too, have become assimilated to this narcissism.  Perhaps my pride lies not in the blogging itself, but in my fears of inadequacy, in my over-analyzation of the medium, in my heightened sense of importance.  This is just a blog, Faith!  It does not have to be stunningly insightful or encouraging or life-changing.  I am learning to lighten up.

Only 45 days until my wedding, and only one week until the semester ends!  The list of assignments is being conquered (slowly, but surely), and I have already begun transporting Rubbermaid totes to Josh's apartment.  I also finished watching the sixth season of House and have successfully consumed an entire box of See's truffles (compliments of my awesome fiance)!  Life is busy, but not as busy as it could be, and I'm grateful for that.

Well, this upcoming week will be especially busy with final exams and deep-cleaning, so it may be a few days before I check in.  See you on the other side!

Barely There

This is my favorite coffee mug in the whole wide world.  I permanently "borrowed" it several years ago from the employee lounge at Second Go-Round.  (Yes, I worked there.  It's okay.)  Espresso is certainly my drug of choice, these days.

In three weeks, the semester will be over, and my wedding will be one month away.  This is quite remarkable!  In the midst of the busyness (and my steadily disintegrating social life), this blog has been neglected, and I am sorry.

Remember when I wrestled with the question, "Are bloggers narcissists?"  I am unconvinced that my brief post resolved the issue satisfactorily.  Why do I continue to blog, and why do you guys read this stuff?

When I created Sojourn of Faith last summer, I promised myself that my posts would not be spiritual vomit.  This is would not my personal journal.  I would not write emotional, run-on sentences for the sake of "finding myself" (and simultaneously boring my readers).  I promised myself that Sojourn of Faith would be a fun, virtual scrapbook.  It is, I believe.

I now worry that my seemingly picturesque life has become packaged for idle consumption.  It seems that readers visit the blog, glance at the photos (occasionally leaving a comment or two), and leave the page empty-handed.  Artistic photographs and personal updates are benign, of course, but if my words do not provide challenge or encouragement, then Sojourn of Faith is a meaningless exercise for me, perhaps even an unwise unveiling of privacy.

What do you think, readers?  Why do you blog?  Why do you read blogs?  What should or should not change about Sojourn of Faith?

Open Books

Isn't this a fun little bookstore?  Two Saturdays ago, I ventured over there with a rented SLR camera.  I am a beginner, and I still fumbled with the settings, but the trial and error helped me with my photography class!  This was a cute shop for my experimental shoot!

Snow-maggedon

This has been an eventful week!  First of all, it is Founder's Week at Moody Bible Institute.  Classes are canceled for a week-long conference, complete with alumni reunions, world-class speakers, professional musicians, and book sales.  Secondly, my parents are visiting Chicago!  They met at Moody, and they always enjoy returning to the Windy City, to where their love story began. We enjoyed dinner at the Grand Luxe last night.

 

Finally, Chicago has been positively pummeled by a blizzard.  Thunder, lightning, raging winds, and 20.2 inches of snow.  Crazy, eh?   My parents and I watched the early stages of the thundersnow from our restaurant window.  My poor camera could not fully capture the swirling snowflakes.  By the time we left, the weather had become unbearably treacherous, and we decided that taking a cab was worth it.

Don't expect to see any photos of the aftermath.  It's too darn cold to be taking pictures of the eight-foot snowdrifts!

Are bloggers narcissists?

My favorite professor at Moody Bible Institute recently presented a compelling critique of the "clamoring, competing autobiographies" which plague the Internet.  I listened, spellbound, furiously scribbling notes and prayerfully examining my heart.  Questions flooded my mind.  Why do I blog?  Who am I attempting to impress?  Is my little web page of autobiography a petty invention, a misguided outlet of my creativity?  Most importantly, does it glorify my God?

Those who keep diaries and scrapbooks are rarely accused of self-absorption.  However, these creative disciplines are generally kept private, perhaps even sacred, laid inconspicuously on a bedside table.  Blogging is a less graceful art.  We craft our posts and edit our photographs, meticulously preparing ourselves for the public eye, and we cast our lines as fishermen, hoping to "hook" more readers who will stroke our egos with gushing comments.  (These comments consistently include adjectives such as "lovely" and "delightful," words dreadfully overused by the women of Blogger-land.)

Fellow bloggers, we must, we must re-examine our motives for blogging.  Despite our innocent desire to inspire others, our posts often do nothing more than propagate the self.  Through blogging we can find our very identities re-molded and neurotically maintained, all for the admiration of followers.

How can this be avoided?  We must prayerfully examine our hearts.  Mine is ridden with pride.  I want people to read about me, to admire me, to think that I am creative and beautiful, to believe that my life in Chicago is perpetually  marvelous.  I am the star of this little website, and the influx of comments boost my ego.

This is foolishness.  Oh, that I would write and photograph in order to glorify my God, in order to serve my smattering of readers!  I must speak of him more honestly, and the "little things" photographed must not be posted for the preservation of my image, but for the humble purpose of inspiring and delighting others with the beauty of the ordinary.

Ah, this, this sort of creativity produces a joyous optimism. It is the healthy outflow of a grateful heart, a heart which recognizes its own unworthiness of anything good.  Despite my wretched pride, my gracious God patiently prods me to repentance, and I can set about my daily doings with renewed vigor.  His existence defines all that I do and all that I am.  It is my goal that this "clamoring autobiography" will strike my readers with beauty.  Beauty not of myself, but of my God.