Twelve Months : Zwölf Monate

Everything is changing. In the span of twelve months we have stepped into a divide, into a season of prolonged transition from Chicago to Berlin. I didn't update my blog regularly in 2014, so I thought you might like to see a month-by-month snapshot of our year!

January : Januar  Ice, snow, and record temperatures in Chicago. Josh and I decided to pursue the opportunity which had been presented to us in November—to serve as communications coordinators in Berlin, Germany! After a blur of personality tests, theological questionnaires, doctor visits, and reference forms, we submitted our application materials to ReachGlobal.

We both ache to explore a new environment together, to tell the stories well, to finally have the luxury of devoting our waking, working hours to creative endeavors. Is this what you have for us, God? Are we ready to leave our friends and church to immerse ourselves in German culture? 
– 29 January 2014

February : Februar  Josh and I packed our suitcases and drove to icy Minneapolis for three days of interviews. The ReachGlobal staff made us feel affirmed and deeply cared for, and we left with a sense of peace.

March : März  We were accepted as long-term staff members with ReachGlobal!

April : April  I spent weeks rehearsing a cantata to be performed at a Maundy Thursday service, and Holy Week stirred my soul for the first time in years. I turned twenty-four. Josh surprised me with a gorgeous hotel room in downtown Chicago and a brewery tour in Wisconsin. (Yes, I'm a good German.)

May : Mai  Josh and I took another trip to Minneapolis for an intense week of training. Later in the month, my dad came to visit us in Chicago!

We have truly turned a corner in this journey. From today onward, nothing will be the same. 
– 10 May 2014

June : Juni  We celebrated three years of marriage! Josh transitioned to a part-time job, and we began to ease into the fundraising process.

I kind of resent that You're asking us to do this—approach family and friends and coworkers and churches for money. It is strange and uncomfortable and almost... impetuous. I keep finding myself glaring at You with a knot in my stomach, hating every minute of this. 
– 02 June 2014 

July : Juli  Josh and his dad took a trip to the West Coast and I continued working full-time at Moody. It was a relatively quiet month, complete with plenty of grilling, porch-sittin', and late nights with friends. Josh and I booked our flights to meet the Berlin team!

August : August  Josh's sister got married in Maryland! One week later, we were off to Berlin to meet the team and explore the city. It was our first time visiting Europe (let alone Germany), and we absolutely loved it. You can view some of my photos from the trip here.

September : September  Josh and I came home from an incredible week in Berlin. A few days later, ReachGlobal officially finalized our placement with the Berlin team! I began to wrestle with the idea of being a missionary.

I want to run away from You and Your call and Your care but you have gripped me. The liturgy, the melodies, the warmth in the eyes of a friend, the stories handed down. Despite my doubts and fears and guilt and anger, I think my heart still beats for You.
– 09 September 2014

October : Oktober  Josh and I worked through a six-week, online class for ReachGlobal. As the days grew darker, time spent within my close community seemed all the more life-giving. I began to realize just how deeply I am rooted in Chicago.

These days seem tender. Tonight I flipped through my ever-growing binder of sheet music from our church to read the words and liturgy, and I paused occasionally to sing some of the songs. Then, I started. Pangs of grief shot between my lungs, and I glanced at the map on our wall. I measured with my eyes the inches between push pins, the miles between Chicago and Berlin. The romance of the adventure has cooled in my heart, at least for tonight. I don't know if everything is going to be okay. I pray for courage, for peace of mind, resilience and renewed love for You.
– 06 October 2014

November : November  We traveled to North Carolina for Thanksgiving! It was great to be reunited with our families, and Josh and I had the opportunity to give a presentation to the church we attended as kids. After the church service, we hopped in the car and knocked out the 16-hour stretch to Chicago. We collapsed into bed at 5:00 a.m. to sleep for a few hours, then I returned to work and Josh hopped in a different car for a road trip to the West Coast.

December : Dezember  While Josh was away, I took time to reflect on our trip to the South, on the past few years, on the diverse experiences which have beautifully layered under my feet to hoist me to this new ledge. Josh returned safely home to me, and we settled in for a quiet Christmas in Chicago.

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We would love for you to follow our story as we prepare for ministry in Germany. If you'd like to receive a little update from us once in awhile, sign up for our newsletter here!

Everything is changing, v. 2

We returned from Berlin earlier this month! We spent an amazing week exploring the city, meeting the staff, and getting a feel for everyday life in Germany. ReachGlobal has finalized our placement with the Berlin team! We will spend the next twelve months developing ministry partners so that we can move to Berlin and jump into our new roles.



I fell so hard for Berlin. I wish that I could somehow fast-forward through the transitions on this side of the ocean, through the impending, foreboding, final goodbyes. I have put down deep roots in Chicago, and it feels like the spade is already hacking away and making me bleed.

On Tuesday night, we gathered with a few of our closest friends and ended up talking for hours and hours about transition and loss. We're all coping with varying degrees of uncertainty, and our parting embraces were bittersweet. I think we're realizing how quickly things are changing.  

A year from now, we'll all be gone.
 

Everything is changing, v. 1

In case you haven't heard, Josh and I are headed on quite the adventure to Berlin. (Insert ecstatic squeals and a mild panic attack here.) If all goes as planned, we will have raised our monthly support and be headed overseas by the end of next year. I am starting to grasp how soon that is, how little time we may have left in Chicago.

Our first three years of marriage have been beautifully interrupted by change after change within these city limits. We have grown. Our conceptions of community and love and hospitality and salvation have been reshaped by this bustling, transient culture, by the warmth of the people who call this city home. I don't want to forget these days.

There is a sense of peace and steadiness here, in our community. I am learning that hospitality is not an event, but a mindset. It is the daily re-opening of my eyes, heart, and home to others. It is Kingdom-building. It is a wild chase, one which is taking us to another corner of the world. New friends await us in Berlin, creative souls who may or may not have spoken to Jesus before. That excites us.

We will continue to grow. We will continue to learn how to give, and in a new city we will make our home.

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We would love for you to follow our story as we prepare for ministry in Germany. If you'd like to receive a little update from us once in awhile, sign up for our newsletter here!

Foy Vance

On Sunday, Josh and I went to see NEEDTOBREATHE at the House of Blues. We were told that it would be like being in the eye of a hurricane, and it was. What an incredible evening of dancing and singing! "You will leave with your clothes in ribbons and your hearts on the stage." I have to tell you, though, before the South Carolinian brothers even stepped foot on stage, our hearts were stolen away.

via alyssa joy photography

The opening artist was an Irish songwriter named Foy Vance. He emerged alone and seated himself in front of a keyboard. As the first thread of his lyrics rang across the venue, "The scenery's changing and it warms my soul," there was a tangible moment of stillness and awe.

Josh and I had the privilege of meeting Foy after the show. He was gracious, kind, and quietly engaging. "Vance is moved by the fractions of love and sentiment, giving himself over to the quiet deluge. His is a voice that rattles you and forces you to let it in so that you may all enjoy a dark room, a modest fire and something to toast with." Indeed we were rattled, and the chorus of his closing song is still humming in my head.

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Peace

It's been pretty quiet around here since November! Winter was brutal, and the cold is still hanging in the air.  I didn't plan this hiatus from blogging, but creativity crawled right into the hibernation cave with me! I'm still not convinced that it's safe to come out. Did you know that it snowed again in Chicago yesterday? We're aching for spring.

It is Holy Week. I will be spending most of my evenings surrounded by musicians in this place, raising songs of lament and protest with the people of God. This colorful cathedral housed a Polish Catholic congregation for many years; now a motley group of Presbyterians calls it home.

On Maundy Thursday, we will sing, "peace is my last gift to you," and tremble at the betrayal which so suddenly slit flesh from bone. On Good Friday, our hearts will grow dark as we remember the stripes, the stalking demons, the simultaneous rage and silence of God. 

Peace is my last gift to you
My own peace I now leave with you
Peace which the world cannot give
I give to you

In this sanctuary we sit and speak to the darkness, clinging to the hope that, on Sunday morning, it will be safe to come out.

A little update

Hey, friends! I hope your summer is going well. Can you believe that it's August already? We are enjoying this warm weather in our new corner of Chicago. Did you know that we have a back deck and even a grill now? Heck yes. I spend a lot of Saturdays out there, nestled in a Papasan chair to catch some rays. We try to eat dinner on the deck as much as possible, too.  It does the heart good.  :)

What have I been up to? In June, Josh and I took a road trip to North Carolina to watch two of our younger brothers graduate from high school. What?! We did a little sightseeing along the way, stopping in downtown Pittsburgh, Annapolis, Baltimore, and even D.C. I had never visited these East Coast cities before, and Josh had fun showing me around!

The Fourth of July was another highlight for me. We hosted a big, outdoor meal for our friends, and two adorable kittens even tagged along for the party! After the sun went down, we leaned against the railings and cuddled with our significant others and watched at least ten different firework shows scattered within our view. Bursts of color popping back and forth... we saw everything from cherry bombs across the street to expensive displays glittering above the Loop. Our favorite show? The random guys launching Roman candles straight out the window of a high-rise apartment building. Haha!

With summer coming to a close, we have some changes on the horizon. Josh is wrapping up his internship and will soon be happily unemployed. My current job pays the bills, but I'd like to try something new before transitioning to motherhood someday. We're both applying for jobs, discussing all sorts of possibilities, wondering with nervousness and excitement, "Where will we be this time next year?" We don't know. As we look ahead, we're praying for jobs that both challenge and enthuse us, grateful that, no matter what happens, we're in this together.

It's hard to be patient for "the next thing," isn't it? Anything new headed your way?

Graduation Weekend!

We had an amazing weekend celebrating Josh's graduation with friends and family. I am so proud of him! Once he wraps up his summer internship in August, he is free to explore job options in Chicago or abroad. Wooohooo! We are thankful for God's provision during these first two years of marriage. Now, we both have diplomas in hand and can fully embrace post-grad life. It feels pretty good!

Warmin' up

Spring weather is finally creeping towards Chicago! Last Friday, Josh and I picked up some Portillo's and had a picnic at the marina with some dear friends. It was almost warm enough to take off our jackets! Almost.

Winter is melting away, and I'm ready to shove my coats and scarves into the back of the closet. It's time for these limbs to see the sun again.

TGIF

This is a snapshot from the passenger's seat during our morning commute. Isn't the city grand? We won't be glimpsing this view tomorrow, though, because it's Friday!!! Time to stay home and sleep in. Josh and I spent our week unpacking more boxes, cleaning, and arranging furniture in our new home. We even managed to escape IKEA without spending all of our money. ;) We are hosting a little St. Paddy's celebration tomorrow (yay!) and I'm attempting Irish soda bread for the first time. Am I the only one who freaks out a little before trying a new bread recipe? It's such a gamble... but so cathartic and so very worth it.

I hope you have a wonderful weekend! Any plans?

Change is comin'

If you stepped into our apartment right now, you would probably feel a little dizzied by the bare walls, dismantled furniture, and boxes, boxes, everywhere. In eight days, our first home together will be left behind for a new one. Isn't that exciting?

A room with a view

Our spacious room was lined with tall, tall windows. We set down our bags and stood close to the glass, never minding the chill, gawking upward at the Trump Tower and all her subjects.

You see, we may not live in Chicago forever. Last-minute hotel deals are pretty amazing.

So, we got a room.

Christmas Morning, v.2

Unwrapped presents, a cozy apartment, a glittering surprise from Josh, and a snowy street. Christmas was very merry, indeed.

Christmas Morning, v.1

We stayed in Chicago for the holidays this year. Although I missed spending time with family, I must say... Christmas at home with "just the two of us" was pretty wonderful.

I went a little overboard with Josh's stocking stuffers. The handle on the stocking even broke under the weight!

Midway through the morning, we noticed that it was snowing outside! Chicago's first real snowfall of the season came on Christmas Day. It made our morning together all the more cozy. 

Would you believe me if I told you that "White Christmas" by Andrea Bocelli was playing the moment we looked out the window?

Wordless

Our view

We can see the tippity top of the Sears Tower from our back stairwell.

See it now? 

(Oh, it's called the Willis Tower now?  That can't be right...)

Back to my roots

My childhood best friend got married this weekend! I flew home to North Carolina and had the honor of standing up as one of her bridesmaids. I can't wait to share the official photographs later on! Her wedding was gorgeous, and the reception was so much fun!

I stayed with my family for the weekend, sleeping in a twin bed in my old bedroom. I'm not going to lie... it felt a little surreal! Despite the busyness of the rehearsal and the wedding day, I was able to sing at my home church on Sunday and spend a quiet afternoon with my parents and younger siblings. It was fun, it was restful, and it was restorative.

I was able to revisit who I was and who I am. I spent the majority of my adolescence attending that church and school, growing up in that house, living amongst those faces. Although Josh and I spent the first few years of our dating relationship in North Carolina, that season now feels distant. Chicago is an entirely different world. I love it here and I thrive here, but I cannot sever my identity from the places I have been, the places where my spiritual mind was developed, my heart stolen, enduring friendships made. North Carolina holds my affections in an irreplaceable way.

I have to admit, though... at the end of the weekend, when I looked out the airplane window and beheld the Chicago skyline glittering in the sun, my heart leapt and I smiled. I was almost home.

Hot day

It has been simply stifling in Chicago. These fountains at our favorite park look rather appealing today, no?

Comfort food

There is a little Chinese restaurant around the corner from our apartment building, and it is amazing.  We eat this meal about once per week.

Hot, battered chicken, white rice, sweet and sour sauce garnished with fresh vegetables, and who could forget the massive mango smoothies? 

(A picture of our tired faces, just because I had the camera out.)  Do you have a go-to restaurant for those lazy evenings?

Last weekend

My dad came into town to visit Josh and I!  We had an awesome time eating out, walking around sunny, green Chicago, and watching TV in our little apartment.  Summer is here, my friends!

Café Ba-Ba-Reba

After the commencement ceremony, my mom, Josh and I headed to Café Ba-Ba-Reba for a celebratory lunch.  We had never tried tapas before... we fell in love very quickly.