Twelve Months : Zwölf Monate

Everything is changing. In the span of twelve months we have stepped into a divide, into a season of prolonged transition from Chicago to Berlin. I didn't update my blog regularly in 2014, so I thought you might like to see a month-by-month snapshot of our year!

January : Januar  Ice, snow, and record temperatures in Chicago. Josh and I decided to pursue the opportunity which had been presented to us in November—to serve as communications coordinators in Berlin, Germany! After a blur of personality tests, theological questionnaires, doctor visits, and reference forms, we submitted our application materials to ReachGlobal.

We both ache to explore a new environment together, to tell the stories well, to finally have the luxury of devoting our waking, working hours to creative endeavors. Is this what you have for us, God? Are we ready to leave our friends and church to immerse ourselves in German culture? 
– 29 January 2014

February : Februar  Josh and I packed our suitcases and drove to icy Minneapolis for three days of interviews. The ReachGlobal staff made us feel affirmed and deeply cared for, and we left with a sense of peace.

March : März  We were accepted as long-term staff members with ReachGlobal!

April : April  I spent weeks rehearsing a cantata to be performed at a Maundy Thursday service, and Holy Week stirred my soul for the first time in years. I turned twenty-four. Josh surprised me with a gorgeous hotel room in downtown Chicago and a brewery tour in Wisconsin. (Yes, I'm a good German.)

May : Mai  Josh and I took another trip to Minneapolis for an intense week of training. Later in the month, my dad came to visit us in Chicago!

We have truly turned a corner in this journey. From today onward, nothing will be the same. 
– 10 May 2014

June : Juni  We celebrated three years of marriage! Josh transitioned to a part-time job, and we began to ease into the fundraising process.

I kind of resent that You're asking us to do this—approach family and friends and coworkers and churches for money. It is strange and uncomfortable and almost... impetuous. I keep finding myself glaring at You with a knot in my stomach, hating every minute of this. 
– 02 June 2014 

July : Juli  Josh and his dad took a trip to the West Coast and I continued working full-time at Moody. It was a relatively quiet month, complete with plenty of grilling, porch-sittin', and late nights with friends. Josh and I booked our flights to meet the Berlin team!

August : August  Josh's sister got married in Maryland! One week later, we were off to Berlin to meet the team and explore the city. It was our first time visiting Europe (let alone Germany), and we absolutely loved it. You can view some of my photos from the trip here.

September : September  Josh and I came home from an incredible week in Berlin. A few days later, ReachGlobal officially finalized our placement with the Berlin team! I began to wrestle with the idea of being a missionary.

I want to run away from You and Your call and Your care but you have gripped me. The liturgy, the melodies, the warmth in the eyes of a friend, the stories handed down. Despite my doubts and fears and guilt and anger, I think my heart still beats for You.
– 09 September 2014

October : Oktober  Josh and I worked through a six-week, online class for ReachGlobal. As the days grew darker, time spent within my close community seemed all the more life-giving. I began to realize just how deeply I am rooted in Chicago.

These days seem tender. Tonight I flipped through my ever-growing binder of sheet music from our church to read the words and liturgy, and I paused occasionally to sing some of the songs. Then, I started. Pangs of grief shot between my lungs, and I glanced at the map on our wall. I measured with my eyes the inches between push pins, the miles between Chicago and Berlin. The romance of the adventure has cooled in my heart, at least for tonight. I don't know if everything is going to be okay. I pray for courage, for peace of mind, resilience and renewed love for You.
– 06 October 2014

November : November  We traveled to North Carolina for Thanksgiving! It was great to be reunited with our families, and Josh and I had the opportunity to give a presentation to the church we attended as kids. After the church service, we hopped in the car and knocked out the 16-hour stretch to Chicago. We collapsed into bed at 5:00 a.m. to sleep for a few hours, then I returned to work and Josh hopped in a different car for a road trip to the West Coast.

December : Dezember  While Josh was away, I took time to reflect on our trip to the South, on the past few years, on the diverse experiences which have beautifully layered under my feet to hoist me to this new ledge. Josh returned safely home to me, and we settled in for a quiet Christmas in Chicago.

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We would love for you to follow our story as we prepare for ministry in Germany. If you'd like to receive a little update from us once in awhile, sign up for our newsletter here!

Everything is changing, v. 3

I just stumbled upon a journal entry I wrote in April 2013, long before Josh and I first heard about ReachGlobal in Berlin. My faith felt frail at the time, and to make matters worse, I was incredibly frustrated with my job. 

My cubicle at my former job, cleaned out on my last day.

I still remember the Spirit clamoring on that April evening, pleading with me as I washed dishes at the sink. Sit. Be still. Talk to me. As I slammed the last dripping plate into the dishwasher, I gave up the fight. I wiped down the counter, retrieved my journal, and took a seat in the empty living room. Rain pattered on the skylights and a candle flickered on the coffee table. I began to write.

College is done. That once unlived adventure—lived. Mystery and anticipation—gone. Now I sit in a cubicle and answer phones. Prospective students, kind donors, rude fundamentalists and desperate radio listeners… I don’t know what to make of all these interactions, but I always come home exhausted.

What if Josh and I just went for it? We’ve been talking about traveling, about making videos and recording music, about meeting new people and just living. We don’t want a house with a picket fence in the suburbs, complete with 2.333 kids and enough money in the bank to become subtly damned consumers.  

What if this season, this time in Chicago, is a brief period that will launch us into real life, an adventure? What if we took steps into the dark and groped for your hands and giggled with excitement? Oh God, please lead us. We do not want to be safe or culturally confined.

I desire to empower people with your story. You are powerful. You reach into corpses and infuse life. You step into our history and fix your eyes on every moment—on every glimmer or hint or outright crime of murderous self-lordship—and you forgive. I want people to know that. I want to pour out myself so that others can look and live. 

– 10 April 2013

This is part of the prequel to Berlin. This is part of my story, my desire to go and do that seemed so stifled at the time. 

Potsdamer Platz, Berlin

About six months later, Josh and I were made aware of the opportunity to live and work in Germany. It seems that this ministry has been handed to us as a gift—an answer to a half-forgotten prayer on a rainy evening—and I am speechlessly grateful.

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We would love for you to follow our story as we prepare for ministry in Germany. If you'd like to receive a little update from us once in awhile, sign up for our newsletter here!

Everything is changing, v. 2

We returned from Berlin earlier this month! We spent an amazing week exploring the city, meeting the staff, and getting a feel for everyday life in Germany. ReachGlobal has finalized our placement with the Berlin team! We will spend the next twelve months developing ministry partners so that we can move to Berlin and jump into our new roles.



I fell so hard for Berlin. I wish that I could somehow fast-forward through the transitions on this side of the ocean, through the impending, foreboding, final goodbyes. I have put down deep roots in Chicago, and it feels like the spade is already hacking away and making me bleed.

On Tuesday night, we gathered with a few of our closest friends and ended up talking for hours and hours about transition and loss. We're all coping with varying degrees of uncertainty, and our parting embraces were bittersweet. I think we're realizing how quickly things are changing.  

A year from now, we'll all be gone.
 

Graduation Weekend!

We had an amazing weekend celebrating Josh's graduation with friends and family. I am so proud of him! Once he wraps up his summer internship in August, he is free to explore job options in Chicago or abroad. Wooohooo! We are thankful for God's provision during these first two years of marriage. Now, we both have diplomas in hand and can fully embrace post-grad life. It feels pretty good!

Black Friday

When we visited NYC last year, we never made it to Central Park... or Shake Shack. On this trip, we took care of both. (Do you spy the camera strap? I was pretty impatient to take a bite of that amazing burger!) Fellow Chicagoans, rumor has it that we are getting a Shake Shack, too! Wouldn't that be nice?

Thanksgiving in Manhattan

This year, my family celebrated Thanksgiving differently than ever before. We had the opportunity to watch the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade from my sister's balcony, far above the crowded Manhattan streets.

It was magical.

Goodbye, Pikachu!

Caaaake!

We got married in North Carolina last year. After the honeymoon in Tennessee, we drove straight back to our little home in Chicago. The drive made it impossible to carry the top layer of our wedding cake, but my mom saved the day by wrapping it up perfectly, freezing it, and bringing it to us in her suitcase this past May! (Our cake has literally flown across state lines!) Last night, we dug in.

The best part? We don't have to share.

One.

Our wedding was one year ago.  Time flies, doesn't it?  We celebrated by eating dinner at our favorite little café on the Gold Coast, taking cheesecake to go, exchanging letters and opening mail from loved ones, and completely forgetting to cut into our frozen wedding cake... hehe.  (Tonight, it is!)  Our first year as husband and wife was phenomenal, packed with travels and time with friends, new jobs, a new car, a college graduation, and so much more.  Everyone said that our first year would be hard.  Really, though... it was a breeze.  We are blessed, we are in love, and as we toasted in the lamplight last night...

"To year two!"

Café Ba-Ba-Reba

After the commencement ceremony, my mom, Josh and I headed to Café Ba-Ba-Reba for a celebratory lunch.  We had never tried tapas before... we fell in love very quickly.

A few more...

(No, that isn't our house.  I wish!  Lincoln Park is gorgeous.)

Look at that guy!  I'm so lucky.  ;)

Commencement!

 I graduated in December.  I got my diploma in the mail about a month later.  Since Moody does not offer a commencement ceremony to December graduates, I decided to walk in May.  My mom even flew into town for the occasion.

 I'm so glad I did.  It felt great.  :)

Happy Birthday... to me!

Today marks my birthday and the two-year anniversary of Josh's proposal. 

:)  I am one happy lady!

Home

Our apartment building is very old.

Every so often, I step onto our back stairwell to admire the exposed brick and the chipping paint, all aged to perfection by years of harsh, Chicagoan weather.

We won't live here forever, but I'll always remember this place fondly, our first little home in Chicagoland as husband and wife.

Blogging to remember.

Have you ever wandered back to your older blog entries?  I read the text and gaze at the photographs, and I remember.  This virtual journal is protecting my otherwise undistinguished memories from slipping away.  That quiet weekend, that sweet storefront, that afternoon coffee with a friend.  Without words, I am prone to forget.  Without photography, those unsung moments begin to lose their color.

A forgotten snow day.

An amazing cup of coffee.

 

Memories of home (and my first ever blog post... yikes!).

Blossoming love for this city.

What do you blog to remember?

Sixth

As most of you know, Josh and I started dating during our sophomore year of high school.  We have been together for over five years, and today marks our sixth Valentine's Day together.

Today is also our first Valentine's Day as husband and wife.

:)

Sibs

Despite that we constantly argued over silly things...

Despite how often we took turns embarrassing each other in public...

I miss the good ol' days.